Hampshire Couples Counselling
Carol Mynott BA (Hons), Dip Couns, MBACP
"The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives” – Esther Perel
Feeling truly valued and understood by your partner inspires confidence, happiness and optimism. If, however, you feel your relationship isn’t working, your partner does not care or has let you down, you can feel huge anger, hurt, loneliness and sadness.
Any long-term romantic relationship is likely to encounter challenges along its course: the pressures of parenting, experiencing the pain of infertility or miscarriage, demands of work, money worries, health problems, bereavement, family conflicts. You may be considering therapy because you’re in crisis. Perhaps there has been a painful betrayal or loss of trust. Or you may simply have noticed a gradual loss of connection or intimacy with your partner.
When you are feeling hurt and disconnected, conversation is needed. Sadly, these conversations can easily lapse into old, unhelpful patterns, triggering further upset, fighting and withdrawal. My expertise lies in enabling you to speak and listen to each other with empathy and respect. With my support and intervention you can heal old wounds, rebuild trust and restore or strengthen the bond between you. My goal is to equip you with skills that will make you feel confident about overcoming future difficulties together.
Infidelity / Affairs
One of the most common issues I deal with – and one which I think is most demanding of professional help is infidelity. Grief, rage, shame, remorse – infidelity causes the most turbulent emotions couples can experience. If you are a partner who has been betrayed you will be feeling traumatised. You may experience frightening mood swings and worry that you are losing your sanity. You are hurting so much and the person you would normally go to for comfort is the very person who has caused you all the heartbreak. You may always have thought that you would end a relationship if your partner cheated – and yet now you are feeling that you still love him/her and you don’t want to lose everything you have invested so much in over many years. You may fear that not ending the relationship will mean you are weak – or that others will think you are weak. If you are the one who has cheated on your partner, you may be overwhelmed by remorse and shock, never having intended to cause such immense pain and fearful that you will never be forgiven. For both of you, it is hard to imagine how trust can ever be restored. Repairing the damage caused by an intimate betrayal is never easy but the support and guidance of an experienced professional can provide a road map for the route to recovery. When both partners are committed to do the work needed, couples very often report that their relationship after the affair is more satisfying than ever.
“Anger is just a sentence away – so is intimacy ” Dan Wile
Agreeing to come together to therapy is a significant first step towards improving your relationship. It saddens me that clients sometimes endure many years of increasing unhappiness before coming for therapy, rather than seeking help when problems first occur.
I understand that coming to therapy can be daunting. I will help you feel at ease as quickly as possible. If your partner is reluctant to attend with you, don’t despair. Although it is preferable that you attend together, with the support of a skilled and experienced practitioner, changes made by one partner alone can transform the dynamic between you.
